Posted by: Ibrahim | 16/05/2010

Lost Horizon

During the Link Society’s farewell party, there was a special occasion where some trivial nominations were being given to some people.  The MC kept repeating that it should be no hard feelings as the titles were given for fun. At first I didn’t feel anything because I knew I just didn’t suit any title.. am just nobody. Yet, I was shocked when the MC announced my name as ‘Mr. Lost’.

Everybody was asking, why ‘Mr. Lost’? There was just no single, simple explanation that I could tell them. By the time, I was basically, flustered! I wanted to see the one who nominated me. No, I wasn’t going to punch his/her face. As a matter of fact, I would like to thank that person. Very much. Sincerely.

You see, s/he managed to look beyond me. I once updated my facebook status as: ” ve lost himself much in Shah Alam. He wanted to go back to Sabah and find the self that he has left there.” (No, the person hasn’t got the idea from the status as I deleted it before anybody has chance to read it). I realised that somewhere along the line, I lost myself.  I only went with the flow, following what people expected from me. I didn’t even know what I wanted in life anymore.

And losing is very subjective. I lost most of the crucial things that I wished I could ever hold  (am still virgin, mind you) and the regrets give me excruciating pains that I couldn’t possibly reveal physically. There were times I got crazy. I screamed, cried and all to return back time, but they’re to no avail. But now I learnt to be in acceptance. Taking them as fate.

I noticed that they were indeed risky. I took it and I failed. But I realised that it’s better to fail rather than not trying at all. If I afraid to take risks, to go beyond my own self, I might be saved.. in my own comfort zone, but I wouldn’t be evolving. What’s the use of traveling this far if gave no differences? So, am glad. It’s true that I’ve lost myself. but it’s on the way to be discovered.

Image  & title courtesy of a novel written by James Hilton (1933).

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Responses

  1. It was me who gave you the title. The title was originally “Most likely to forget where the class is” but Farihan decided to keep it short and went with “Mr. Lost”. The same thing with all titles for Gaya. That’s why she asked for my number. now, does that ring a bell to you? Farihan chose the short title in order to fit in the column given in the so-called certificates. End of story.

    ps: you’re not virgin!

    • Oh yes, it does! I thought she was into you. Ahem. But OMG, it was you Taufik! See, twins understand each other better. You have been reading me all this while, yet you only focus on something visible. And asking me silly question “Why lost?” makes you a drama king! A standing ovation for you!

      Oh by the way, I wanted to ask for your quotation on something like “need to lose in order to be discovered..” that you put as your face-book status, but you know me, I tried to save more credit. Can you reply here. The saying is so close to my heart (but I can’t really remember it as it’s far from my brain).

      P.s. Am as pure as ever. Shut up! haha

  2. taufik, if that was the case, then i should have won. ana can vouch for that ;p
    im, being lost mite be the best thing that had happened to u, coz i remember thinking how different u r now, different in so many gud ways ^.^

    • Ever heard Sugababes “Too Lost In You”? Dedicate the song for the lovely lady who makes my day! Thanks a bunch for noticing me, Anis!

  3. u will find urself again..one day. am sure 🙂

    • Well, if finding myself means losing you. I’d rather let myself lost for eternity.

      • hahaha im ure too good with words


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