Posted by: Ibrahim | 22/11/2009

Emancipate Me

My best good friend (BGF) once popped out a statement:

“I want to look macho, rather than cute.”

That, for me sounds like a declaration of ungratefulness.

In my first year degree, I’ve learnt in Counseling that humans perceive themselves in two ways: Actual-self and Ideal-self. The former is your real self and the latter is who you want to be.

The conflict arise when they’re not correlated. I have this issue.

For all my life people NEVER mistaken me for looking younger than my age. What I have, is to look older than my actual desirable age. And the ever grown moustache and beard make it even worse.

Some men would like to have hair on their face, though. A senior of mine said “If I’ve full beard like yours, I would let it grow.” I muttered that I would be happy if I could give it to him forever.

But I couldn’t, and these what I had to hear instead:

“It’s good that you bring your husband along.” was a very sharp remark given by my cousin’s friend. My cousin who was 10 years older than me only smirked at my discontentment.

“Are you sure you’re just 21st? You look much older.” was another comment I got from a new friend. I was about to ask “How old do you want me to be?” but couldn’t afford to hear the response.

And some people refused to be friend me at first place because I look fierce, serious and unfriendly. I just had no control over this matter. And I have to admit that I hate the way it is.

I wish to be cute – not the effeminate, but in childlike way.

I want people to see the child inside me (even at first sight)… my innocence, naïveté, sensitiveness, insecurities. And to treat me like one.

Am just a child trapped in an adult body!

Set me free, please.

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Responses

  1. compare this,
    “That, for me sounds like a declaration of ungratefulness.”
    with this,
    “I wish to be cute – not the effeminate, but in childlike way.”

    Now this entry is an irony. 😀

    • Even me myself is not being grateful, right? Good point to ponder. Perhaps I should change the title to ‘Irony Me’.

  2. andu ba. u look better than some of the ppl i know :p
    lgpun..ensem apa…looking old is a plus ba, matured look gia.

    • Well, in that case, it’s my personality that need to be sharpened.

      • personality wise…ur a good and very helpful person. but i agree wit u bout the ‘beard’ thing ..clean chin is a plus :p

      • I shaved my beard. Marry me, then? 😉

      • xblh..ad yg marah nnt.. 🙂

  3. “And some people refused to be friend me at first place because I look fierce, serious and unfriendly.”

    I thought you’re anything BUT that when I saw you the first time. Weird.

    • See. I told you. No wonder you guys were all running away from me.

      • mnda kmi lari ..hyperbola ko im :p

      • tu si phye punya komen tu.. haha

  4. bha.ko da macho apa

  5. ‘ “Are you sure you’re just 21st? You look much older.” ‘

    ahaha..same goes to me.
    even some people call me ‘mak cik’ when we first met.

    • Hi makcik! (hope it’s not an insult.. you just look experienced!) Welcome. 🙂

      • ahaha..mayb kot..

        at first..bising jgk to my mum y people keep calling me mak cik r kakak instead of adik..ehehe..
        but now, u can even call me nenek and i’ll not bother..eheh..
        at least i look matured though im not.. :p

  6. Seems like you are a true expert. Did ya study about the matter? haha


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